Parental terror
Tonight Michael and his friend asked to go for a walk around the friend neighborhood - just down the street. I wanted to say no but thought I was being the overprotective Mom so let them go. 45 minutes later I realize it has gotten dark and they still aren't back. I mention to Bryan maybe we should go look for them. He goes in the car and I make the phonecalls. Nobody has seen them. It's coming up on an hour and Bryan still isn't back. I hear our dog bark and go out to see what is up. He starts barking at me so I tell him it's me then say "Where is Michael?" and Michael pops up from down the street and says here I am. AHHH I am flooded with relief but mad that he made me worry like that. I called Bryan and Had Michael come in. I told him he really needed to be more considerate of us. I think it went right over his head.
My Mother is Priceless
She stopped by this morning before I even called her to take Andrew to her house. She took me to wally world to pick up some Cranberry I opted for the capsules this time around. I took a much needed nap and then just vegged until Bryan and Michael got home. Andrew did let me sleep a little bit this morning so I am not too exhausted tonight but still pretty tired. I had one of those do nothing days. I hate when I feel too shitty to do anything. All day I wanted to do stuff but just didn't feel up to it.
Warning!!! TMI for the average viewer
I am a zombie. I have been up most of the night. Well ok I did sleep for one 2-3 hour stretch but other than that I was up trying desperately to pee. I have a fucking UTI. This completely sucks. It came on pretty quickly last night. In the matter of a couple hours I went from fine to pain. That horrible I have to pee pain. So of course it was terribly hard for me to sleep feeling like my bladder was going to explode. It would take me 20-30 minutes to doze off and then I was up 10-20 minutes later. I feel sorry for my bedmates because I was up and down all freakin night. I am exhausted now and Andrew is still sleeping so I should just go try some more to sleep but the pressure intensifies if I lay down. I am far more comfortable in an upright position. I started taking the GSE last night and have had 3 doses of it now. Things seem a bit better but I am guessing that is because I am sitting up not laying down. I am shocked and pleased that Andrew is still sleeping. He generally wakes up when there is no warm body to tangle up in. I am really hoping my Mother doesn't have plans today and she will take him for me. If not it is going to be one long long day. That is the downfall to the SAHM thing. When you are sick you don't get to call in. I started running a very lowgrade fever this morning. Only slightly elevated but even a slight elevation above normal is rough on me. Maybe that is because I am generally a degree below the 'normal' temp so only being up a degree is actually 2 for me.
I have been drinking a ton of water and kicking myself for not picking up any cranberry juice when I ran to the store last night. I was feeling crappy and thought that this might be coming on but then blew it off and decided not to waste the money on juice I would take forever to drink if this wasn't the case. Stupid Stupid Stupid. Should have taken a chance on the few bucks. Generally if I feel one coming on a couple glasses of Cranberry and I am feeling fine. Probably all in my head but if that works I am not opposed to it. Anything beats this.
Bath time
Tonight I was enjoying a nice relaxing bath. Bryan was entertaining Andrew so I could sneak away and just relax. I was in there about 30 minutes before Andrew came looking for me. So I hear him running through the house yelling Mom Mom. So he comes in the bathroom and spots me. He yells" oh you're taking a bath" as he is pulling his clothes off. He was so adorably cute and completely undressed within 20 seconds. I couldn't resist letting him join me. Not that I had any choice really. He was not happy when I was ready to get out. He wanted us to stay in the tub together all night. It has been quite a while since we bathed together since our tub is so tiny. He enjoys anything to do with water. He loves the shower, the bath, the pool, the hose..... if it involves water he is a happy camper.
Child abductions
I was reading about this on
Tonya's blog and after leaving her a huge comment I thought maybe this was something I should address here. Bryan and I were talking about all the child abductions/murders this year. We were wondering were things really safer when we were children? Was it really safe for us to run wild like we did? I had regular times I needed to check in but basically I could go where and do what I wanted (within reason). There were a bunch of us and we had the run of the neighborhood. When I got a little older I was allowed to walk on the main road (the road I live on now) to the quick shop for a soda and eventually for cigarettes too. I was allowed to walk home from school and we used to cut through the woods. I would absolutely freak out if my child took that same route home today. We hung at the creek behind our subdivision quite often just me and another girl going there alone to pick blackberries or just stick our feet in the water and talk. My childhood was really charmed. I was loved and allowed to grow and be free. We never worried that some freak would be waiting in those woods to rape and murder us. Heck I can't tell you how many times I got into a car with someone I just met. Stupid Stupid Stupid. What the hell was I thinking. I am sure my Mother did warn me against this but things weren't like they are today....or were they? According to the U.S Department of Justice the curent stats are:
*Four million child molesters reside in the U.S.
*A typical molester will abuse between 30 and 60 children before they are arrested - and as many as 380 during their lifetime.
*One in three girls and one in seven boys will be molested at least once before age 18.
*There is, on average, one child molester per square mile (so, in a county of 2,000 sq. miles there are 2,000 possible problems).
*There are an estimated 63,000 convicted first-time offenders of child molestation in California alone. Statistics show that these offenders are four times more likely than other violent criminals to recommit their crime.
I haven't found actual past statistics but I did find this.
2001 missing children fact sheet. According to this sheet the increase in reported missing persons has increase 444% since 1982. How scary is that? I wonder how much of todays awareness/happenings are media based. Are things worse today or are we made more aware by the media coverage? I mean are more children reported missing sooner than they would have been 20 years ago. These statistics are of all people reported missing. Many of wich are found within hours and not actually victims of foul play. I mean if I was late my Mom wouldn't have immediately thought abduction but when my son is late that thought looms huge in my mind. Things seem so much worse today, has the media coverage encouraged this? Are many of the molesters today enticed by the media attention? Is all the attention just another draw to commit such horrific crimes against our children? How has the internet played into this seemingly huge increase? Is the readily available stream of child pornography encouraging this? Is it making it seem more acceptable to the already sickened mind? Has current technology had a deadly effect on our children? Or have all of these advances just made the world more aware of what has been going on all along?
I need to run but this is a subject never further than the back of my mind.
This is a subject that just scares the hell out of me.
reindeer games.
Sometimes Bryan just doesn't 'get' it. Bryan was occupying Andrew this morning while I cleaned the bathroom. After finishing up I walk into the livingroom and Andrew is sitting on the couch by himself watching Reindeer Games. Seriously this is no movie to be watching with a 3 year old and certainly not for him to be watching by himself. I just casually turned off the television and interested Andrew in something else. A While later I mentioned to Bryan that I really didn't think that it was appropriate watching material for a 3 yr old. I pointed out that I have no great love of Cartoons but if he ever noticed when Andrew is around and the TV is on we are watching Nick Jr or PBS. I told him this didn't just have to do with my Steve fetish but these were on because they are geared toward children and what a 3 yr old should be watching. So he says. Well he wasn't watching it. I asked if he was in the room. Bryan said yes so I told him if he is in the room then you should assume he is watching TV. Bryan countered with he wasn't watching he was playing. I tried explaining that if he is in the room he is taking it in wether you think he is or not. I was on my way out the door as we had this discussion so I left it at that. I hope he will think about it and be a little more careful.
Anger
Why does Michael have so much anger? I just really don't understand where it comes from. I am really trying to help him understand that anger is rarely the appropriate response. I have really noticed lately that he will say something made him mad, pissed him off or made him angry when it is really nothing to feel that strongly about. Something that would mildly irritate anyone else makes him fighting mad angry. This morning Michael was throwing out some stuff in his room. He dropped it as he was carrying it to the trash. It hit his foot and he yelled. Andrew who was in the other room yelled "Are you o.k. Michael?" no answer so he asked again. Michael yells at him "I am fine now just shut up!" I was in the same room with Michael and asked "was that really necessary? He was only concerned for you." Michael replied. "Well he was repeating it and it pissed me off." this is sort of an example of what I am talking about. I asked him why Andrews concern should make him angry he said "well he kept asking so I told him." I said no you yelled at him and were rude to him. So then the anger was turned on me and he started getting nasty to me. At that point I just told him the conversation was finished. I don't get it. We do not talk to him like that but this is the way he talks to us often. I hate that he talks to Andrew like that. Andrew adores Michael and so takes the abuse but I see it come out in Andrew yelling at us.
The therapist really didn't do any good. He couldn't find any problems other than normal sibling rivalry/ teenage behavior. When Michael saw him he never really brought up anything that might be bothering him. In other words he never opened up to him any more than he does to us. I am frustrated and so tired of banging my head against this wall. Bryan is very frustrated by Michaels at home behavior because he sees him go to work and listen and work well and be respectful. The truth is that there are things Michael is expected to do around the house but they are truly minimal and if he would just do them he would spend 15 minutes or less a day on them. Instead he goofs off and piddles around and then gets angry when he is reminded that ____ needs to be done. I think I will do some online research on anger management and misplaced anger.
